What Really Defines You?

t awake thinking of him,the thought of moving on somewhere far...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:22:10 -0500

t awake thinking of him,the thought of moving on somewhere far off in the distance of mind. Maybe I’ll tell our story someday. Hell, Maybe I’ll even move on. But for now I’m faced with the harsh reality that I’m still in love with him.. Even though I’m with someone else.
How can one person or thing manage to mess up so much.. Without even trying?
Damned if I know.
It’s time to sort through the boxes of neglected emotions that are stacked in the recesses of my mind. The sheer hope of positivity is quickly fading at the sight of the task that lies before me.
But for now? I’ll make a cup of tea, through back a cup of nyquil, and listen to the song that seems to make the pages of my diary come alive. If I’m honest with myself, The harsh truth that I’m not really ready to move on from him becomes painfully obvious.
So I’ll sit here, and enjoy my last few hours of thinking of him if peace.
Yes, That sounds like a plan.

Is it possible to fall in love over a long distance? Quite the...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:44:01 -0500

Is it possible to fall in love over a long distance?

Quite the contrast from my older posts, isn’t it? Believe it or not, I met amazing guy. Good looking, Intelligent, almost… Loving.

What the hell is this supposed to mean? I wanted change,Maybe this is just the change I’ve craved on a larger scale.

Its random, confusing, and a bit out of the blue. I’m so confused that I can’t even make sense of whats happening. For the first time in awhile I can’t even express how I feel in writing.

I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. But I’m pretty sure about one thing… I wish he was here.

All in all, I had a pretty good day. Aside from a few minor...

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:03:00 -0500

All in all, I had a pretty good day. Aside from a few minor screw ups, I can honesty say it went pretty well! At the moment I’m feeling insanely positive, which is pretty rare for me. But I’m enjoying the feeling! I’m currently making plans to go to a friends birthday party this weekend, which probably doesn’t seem like a big deal to most. But to me,it marks a special day of sorts. For awhile now, I have avoided my friends and interacting with them more than is strictly required. To say I’m excited about this weekend would be a bit of an understatement. It’s a bit of an experiment for me, Getting back out there again..
The reactions I’ve already encountered are almost laughable. “You look different!” “You look so happy!” It’s a nice change from the usual “How are you..?” “You seem quiet, are you okay?”
So far, my resolution for change is going rather well. Better than expected, actually. Fingers crossed it stays that way! While on the subject of luck, I might as well mention I’m starting my diet tomorrow! I’ll need some serious help for that one…
So for now, It’s time to say goodnight to the “official” weekday of 2012!
I hope everyone’s day went as well as mine!

I honestly could agree more at the moment. It seems my...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 23:14:00 -0500

I honestly could agree more at the moment. It seems my resolution of positivity has already taken a critical hit. So, who was the first to throw a punch?
Sunday Morning.
After the many ridiculous happenings of my morning, my day seemed to get progressively worse. What did I do, you ask?
I did what any wise,self respecting person would do. I took Nyquil and went to sleep.
When all else fails, Take a nap.

“Is it 2012 Already?”That seems to be the question...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 01:38:00 -0500

“Is it 2012 Already?”
That seems to be the question echoing through my mind. For the past few years, New Years Eve/Day have been extremely depressing for me. Why? I reach the obvious reality of having to live another day. Not only have I made it through a year of misery, but I have a new one to face.
With all of the speculations of “impending doom” that 2012 may or may not bring us.. I find it a bit hard to find any type of positive outlook. That being said, I will try my very best to see the new year as a somewhat positive thing. Instead of looking of it as a year to live through, Why not think of it as a year to live?
I have a feeling this particular new years resolution will not be very easy for me to successfully carry out. Then again, What major lifestyle change is easy? In all honestly, the current state I am in is less than encouraging. It’s currently taking every thought of every positive thing my mind can surface just to get through this post without sounding like a basket case.

This is happens to be the longest thing I’ve ever written about something that is even remotely close to my heart. A new outlook, a new way of living.. I’ve simply fallen in love with the fantasy of that it could change.

I’ve never had a way with words, And will be the first to admit to envy of those that do.
I cant express myself through lyrics to a powerful song, Or compose a masterpiece that give people a deep insight into my soul.
But I can express myself, and I plan on doing so.. Thoroughly.

This is the year that will mark an extreme change for me, Good or bad. My resolution?
I want to live.

What is any good story without a prologue? Okay, lets be...

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 21:19:00 -0500

What is any good story without a prologue?
Okay, lets be honest.. How many times have you skipped through the prologue of a book because you were too anxious to get to the first chapter?
In the current moment, I suppose that I’m in the “prologue” of my life. Too young, or too old for just about everything. I’m in constant search for any sign that will point me towards the way my story will end.
That’s also where most of my problems lie. Instead of taking time to enjoy the beginning of my story, I often find myself rushing to begin another chapter.
Slow down. Breathe. Enjoy.
My new years resolution is to enjoy the prologue of my life.
Whats yours?